Article I Glanced AT
One night, I was over at my grandma's all by myself watching television like usual. What is up with that anyways. Anyways, my grandma who I adore so much, said I could stay there and get away from the house when she was gone. She knows me too well.
So she was going to be gone for two weeks, traveling in Scotland and Wales and England and such. She's making a picture book as we speak and I'm excited, because she never really told any of us anything. So I really want to see it when it's finished definitely.
So I stayed there, maybe not the brightest idea. My thinking though - It would be quiet, definitely peace away from my brother and sister even though they are not the problem at all. The problem lays with me and my damn time management - procastination - somewhat to a perfectionist standard kind of package. I was behind or at least felt like I was in a big deep hole that I dug myself into my classes - so thought it would be great. Write some papers. Got some books at the bookstore - I was set!
At least I thought I was....
For one, Television at my grandmas is about 20 times more channels then what we have. We have the most basic package at home - and that is probably a good reason for my sake. Like holai hell. We only get channel 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,15,16,17,18,20,21,22,and 23. So 2-13, 15-18, and 20-23 maybe less. Thats about 20 channels. My other grandma who lives in Cass Lake - thats another story- Satallite. "The Dish" - I'm like a walking zombie whenever I stay there. One thing I like is Movies, Movies, Movies. That's actually one thing I have in common with my cute little blonde-haired cousin Tara. I guess I really didn't see her that much in the past, but now we just go on and on about movies. We actually have something in common. She's like seven and she gets stuff that is so outrageous that you wouldn't think someone that age would. Sadly to say, but I'm a lot closer to her than the rest of my cousins on that side - My mom's side. My first impression always at get to together like Holidays was never the best, but know since we talk - I know she'll go far. She's already so smart and now she doesn't seem like a regular kid does.
Kids in the past have been - let me tell you it's been an experience. They have not been that good to me. It's horrid, so it was kind of irony that my major picked last year was Early Child Education.
Anyways, I was up one night like every night. Late up all night - I'm like an insomanic. Now wonder I hate mornings. I know... I know... I get this crap all the time with the parents (THat's why i have to leave) It's my choice to stay up and I do it to myself when I have to in order to work on homework. Spare me the lecture. I don't know I used to be able to do it in highschool. Not go sleep for 24 hours and going to school. Of course, there was a lot of days were I didn't go to school, because face it school sucks. It's fake and you can't be who you want to be anyways. Plus there's a lot of teachers that were bad. I think my senior year, I did the best in. I think that's because I find a little pinch of what makes me alive and not the normal routine over and over again.
To think about it now, I really haven't changed. In my family - I was always the one less organized and the one who was always the last one. When I was the main driver of the kids - my brother and sisters - they would be the one getting impatient with me. Usually, drivers blame that the passengers aren't ready it was vice-versa. They dreaded going to school with me and my older brother's responsibility was now passed on to me. Although I'll tell you that it was occassionally that I would bring people in, because face it my brothers and sisters were smart. They would get a ride from either my older brother, my dad, or my mom.
My older brother was almost three years older than me, but only two grade years ahead. He was held back for having a summer birthday. So when I could drive, I think I was about to be kicked out of the house. I think my dad is way more tougher on my older brother Chris than me and basically I am the one who is way worse. He initially moved out from a little spiel from my dad and it was about my dad asking him to put the tires back on the car or he will be asked to leave.
For One, Chris was always taking a part shit and fooling around them. Like Computers - Uggh. When people are so much smarter than you in an area it kind of bugs you. But when he was thinking he could disassemble computers and assemble on basic knowledge (of what?) is beyond me and leaving there for days on end. Parts would be missing and then things never got finished. The story of my fricken life right there. His disorganizational on computers is what I inhibit from day to day in messiness that is surrounded by the house. That includes my papers and clothes everywhere. The one thing that I like to keep is clothes that I probably will never wear in my lifetime - not my style and clothes that I wear but necessarily like - clothes and clothes that I adore that oddly enough is under a heap of crap. Papers is what I collect and constantly are getting thrown away, because I leave them out where Everyone is . Especially the living room. I think I have compilations of about every subject imaginable that I have underago as a project. Mostly homework turning into another and another... a vicious endless cycle and an underending. Thats why I like to collect it and get file drawers like reporters do with their stories and they add on to it to update it to modern research. That's my plan, but no one understands it. My mom just thinks it's junk to me. But I really don't. Some people may think it's just writing, but not to me - it's like knowledge and seeking the truth. Finding whats real and false and combining of the two worlds of information (viewpoints of yourself what you believe, compared to what is out there - you know). I don't know maybe it is absurd. Already a lot is missing. Your mind can only comprehend so much!
Lately, thats not much in my case. I'm not the one who has that natural intelligence. I have to work for it. It seems like know I can't even free - write without actually looking it up. I don't have confidence. The things that I know is experience and thats everything I freewrite. Poetry I like - I even have entered some of mine in www.poetry.com, but there not good and they'll never be. Thats not my act like other people. Other people - Just blow my mind! See that's one of problems right there - I don't have what it takes. Thats a broad statement for my life. Like I don't want to be a risk taker, but I also want to find my act. It would be perfect if someone just pointed it out. It's also very scary not knowing, it scares me everytime I think about.
Well my older brother - I think had a lot of pressure was mainly, because he didn't graduate from highschool. My dad thought he was until a week before the principal called up - no names mentioned - and left a message on the answering machine. "Your son, Christopher, is not going to graduate. Have a Nice Day." Have a Nice Day that's what really got my dad plus the whole fact that in Conferences the teachers said that he was doing good in all his classes. My dad then told ALL the teachers if he slacks off that they should call him and my dad would deal with it. My older brother was suppose to be the rolemodel for all of us and thats what I think was the whole reason beyond it all and the falling out or "the move out."
When you move you out - you grow up pretty damn fast. My mom during that time - really got on my dads case and I say my mom has a way closer relationship with my brother than with my little brother Josh and I. I think I'm the one who is fartherest from closeness - it's an odd relationship that my mom and I share. It's like mostly though lashing out at each other - mostly I, but I think either were are too much like sometimes or so indifferent it is not even funny. Sorry to say, I like my mom and all, but I don't want to be anything like her and even though I try - I can't get away from some of the things. My mom would bring food to my brother at his apartment and would clean it up. I think she called him every week - it was constant though. Going and doing stuff for him. I don't know... I think when my brother moved out was when we had a closer brother and sister relationship. Chris was a jerk to me - he was like my tormentator and it was awful when the boys teamed up on me. He was constantly trying to embarass me - there's a hidden rule of things you should do and not do or should be between siblings. If there was - I'm pretty sure he broke most of them. My older guy cousins were nicer to me then he was. He would ditch me in school, he obviously didn't want to be seen with me at all. I had to ride the bus often - most the time. He was just rude and when it came around to my little brother hitching a ride I was all for it.
I didn't want to be like that. Although I would be threatening of not giving a ride if he angered me in the car, which happened a lot of times when I first drove. Always referring to my driving skills - accidents and such and how I'm a bad driver. He should be thankful. Unthankful - ingrate. Or messin with the music.
So at my grandmas ... I was watching the history channel for a glimpse. It was something about cheating the casino's - BORING. I feel kind of obligated to flip and glance at history channel. God bless my grandpa. My grandpa Glenn watched the history channel everytime I came to the house. He was a very intelligent man - I love him. He served time in military and was in the submarines for missions - I didn't get to know him until after his stroke. He lost his ability to write with his prominant hand and had to learn how to drive all over again and shot. Although, I think he stopped hunting after that, he used to make his own bullets downstairs along with own cigars. He was also a Firemen before and he restored two of the engines and thanks to him still run to this day. Seen in the parade every year on display in downtown Bemidji. I remember the smell of his smoke of cigerettes and today still love that smell. I remember, he could always sing songs although could not speak. Every Christmas or around he would pick me up with my six-month apart cousin and he would sing Christmas songs - Jingle Bells. I remember he always chewed Wrigley's Spearmint - good stuff and th fond memories of the riding on the three-wheeler with him. I remember riding in his Ford 1986 green pick-up truck on his many adventures. I remember when we raked leaves he would give us money and run us to the Nymore Meat Market. He was so AWESOME - a good man was lost in February of a heart attack - it breaks my heart.
Well, later I flipped back to the channel and it was about how this team was designed by this guy who had this mathematical complex way. It was pretty awesome, but I said I can always probably buy the tape of this. I know I would like it anyhow just the way it was presented. Then On Netscapes homepage was an article how to beat the Casino. And this is how I got to thinking - through many webs.
So she was going to be gone for two weeks, traveling in Scotland and Wales and England and such. She's making a picture book as we speak and I'm excited, because she never really told any of us anything. So I really want to see it when it's finished definitely.
So I stayed there, maybe not the brightest idea. My thinking though - It would be quiet, definitely peace away from my brother and sister even though they are not the problem at all. The problem lays with me and my damn time management - procastination - somewhat to a perfectionist standard kind of package. I was behind or at least felt like I was in a big deep hole that I dug myself into my classes - so thought it would be great. Write some papers. Got some books at the bookstore - I was set!
At least I thought I was....
For one, Television at my grandmas is about 20 times more channels then what we have. We have the most basic package at home - and that is probably a good reason for my sake. Like holai hell. We only get channel 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,15,16,17,18,20,21,22,and 23. So 2-13, 15-18, and 20-23 maybe less. Thats about 20 channels. My other grandma who lives in Cass Lake - thats another story- Satallite. "The Dish" - I'm like a walking zombie whenever I stay there. One thing I like is Movies, Movies, Movies. That's actually one thing I have in common with my cute little blonde-haired cousin Tara. I guess I really didn't see her that much in the past, but now we just go on and on about movies. We actually have something in common. She's like seven and she gets stuff that is so outrageous that you wouldn't think someone that age would. Sadly to say, but I'm a lot closer to her than the rest of my cousins on that side - My mom's side. My first impression always at get to together like Holidays was never the best, but know since we talk - I know she'll go far. She's already so smart and now she doesn't seem like a regular kid does.
Kids in the past have been - let me tell you it's been an experience. They have not been that good to me. It's horrid, so it was kind of irony that my major picked last year was Early Child Education.
Anyways, I was up one night like every night. Late up all night - I'm like an insomanic. Now wonder I hate mornings. I know... I know... I get this crap all the time with the parents (THat's why i have to leave) It's my choice to stay up and I do it to myself when I have to in order to work on homework. Spare me the lecture. I don't know I used to be able to do it in highschool. Not go sleep for 24 hours and going to school. Of course, there was a lot of days were I didn't go to school, because face it school sucks. It's fake and you can't be who you want to be anyways. Plus there's a lot of teachers that were bad. I think my senior year, I did the best in. I think that's because I find a little pinch of what makes me alive and not the normal routine over and over again.
To think about it now, I really haven't changed. In my family - I was always the one less organized and the one who was always the last one. When I was the main driver of the kids - my brother and sisters - they would be the one getting impatient with me. Usually, drivers blame that the passengers aren't ready it was vice-versa. They dreaded going to school with me and my older brother's responsibility was now passed on to me. Although I'll tell you that it was occassionally that I would bring people in, because face it my brothers and sisters were smart. They would get a ride from either my older brother, my dad, or my mom.
My older brother was almost three years older than me, but only two grade years ahead. He was held back for having a summer birthday. So when I could drive, I think I was about to be kicked out of the house. I think my dad is way more tougher on my older brother Chris than me and basically I am the one who is way worse. He initially moved out from a little spiel from my dad and it was about my dad asking him to put the tires back on the car or he will be asked to leave.
For One, Chris was always taking a part shit and fooling around them. Like Computers - Uggh. When people are so much smarter than you in an area it kind of bugs you. But when he was thinking he could disassemble computers and assemble on basic knowledge (of what?) is beyond me and leaving there for days on end. Parts would be missing and then things never got finished. The story of my fricken life right there. His disorganizational on computers is what I inhibit from day to day in messiness that is surrounded by the house. That includes my papers and clothes everywhere. The one thing that I like to keep is clothes that I probably will never wear in my lifetime - not my style and clothes that I wear but necessarily like - clothes and clothes that I adore that oddly enough is under a heap of crap. Papers is what I collect and constantly are getting thrown away, because I leave them out where Everyone is . Especially the living room. I think I have compilations of about every subject imaginable that I have underago as a project. Mostly homework turning into another and another... a vicious endless cycle and an underending. Thats why I like to collect it and get file drawers like reporters do with their stories and they add on to it to update it to modern research. That's my plan, but no one understands it. My mom just thinks it's junk to me. But I really don't. Some people may think it's just writing, but not to me - it's like knowledge and seeking the truth. Finding whats real and false and combining of the two worlds of information (viewpoints of yourself what you believe, compared to what is out there - you know). I don't know maybe it is absurd. Already a lot is missing. Your mind can only comprehend so much!
Lately, thats not much in my case. I'm not the one who has that natural intelligence. I have to work for it. It seems like know I can't even free - write without actually looking it up. I don't have confidence. The things that I know is experience and thats everything I freewrite. Poetry I like - I even have entered some of mine in www.poetry.com, but there not good and they'll never be. Thats not my act like other people. Other people - Just blow my mind! See that's one of problems right there - I don't have what it takes. Thats a broad statement for my life. Like I don't want to be a risk taker, but I also want to find my act. It would be perfect if someone just pointed it out. It's also very scary not knowing, it scares me everytime I think about.
Well my older brother - I think had a lot of pressure was mainly, because he didn't graduate from highschool. My dad thought he was until a week before the principal called up - no names mentioned - and left a message on the answering machine. "Your son, Christopher, is not going to graduate. Have a Nice Day." Have a Nice Day that's what really got my dad plus the whole fact that in Conferences the teachers said that he was doing good in all his classes. My dad then told ALL the teachers if he slacks off that they should call him and my dad would deal with it. My older brother was suppose to be the rolemodel for all of us and thats what I think was the whole reason beyond it all and the falling out or "the move out."
When you move you out - you grow up pretty damn fast. My mom during that time - really got on my dads case and I say my mom has a way closer relationship with my brother than with my little brother Josh and I. I think I'm the one who is fartherest from closeness - it's an odd relationship that my mom and I share. It's like mostly though lashing out at each other - mostly I, but I think either were are too much like sometimes or so indifferent it is not even funny. Sorry to say, I like my mom and all, but I don't want to be anything like her and even though I try - I can't get away from some of the things. My mom would bring food to my brother at his apartment and would clean it up. I think she called him every week - it was constant though. Going and doing stuff for him. I don't know... I think when my brother moved out was when we had a closer brother and sister relationship. Chris was a jerk to me - he was like my tormentator and it was awful when the boys teamed up on me. He was constantly trying to embarass me - there's a hidden rule of things you should do and not do or should be between siblings. If there was - I'm pretty sure he broke most of them. My older guy cousins were nicer to me then he was. He would ditch me in school, he obviously didn't want to be seen with me at all. I had to ride the bus often - most the time. He was just rude and when it came around to my little brother hitching a ride I was all for it.
I didn't want to be like that. Although I would be threatening of not giving a ride if he angered me in the car, which happened a lot of times when I first drove. Always referring to my driving skills - accidents and such and how I'm a bad driver. He should be thankful. Unthankful - ingrate. Or messin with the music.
So at my grandmas ... I was watching the history channel for a glimpse. It was something about cheating the casino's - BORING. I feel kind of obligated to flip and glance at history channel. God bless my grandpa. My grandpa Glenn watched the history channel everytime I came to the house. He was a very intelligent man - I love him. He served time in military and was in the submarines for missions - I didn't get to know him until after his stroke. He lost his ability to write with his prominant hand and had to learn how to drive all over again and shot. Although, I think he stopped hunting after that, he used to make his own bullets downstairs along with own cigars. He was also a Firemen before and he restored two of the engines and thanks to him still run to this day. Seen in the parade every year on display in downtown Bemidji. I remember the smell of his smoke of cigerettes and today still love that smell. I remember, he could always sing songs although could not speak. Every Christmas or around he would pick me up with my six-month apart cousin and he would sing Christmas songs - Jingle Bells. I remember he always chewed Wrigley's Spearmint - good stuff and th fond memories of the riding on the three-wheeler with him. I remember riding in his Ford 1986 green pick-up truck on his many adventures. I remember when we raked leaves he would give us money and run us to the Nymore Meat Market. He was so AWESOME - a good man was lost in February of a heart attack - it breaks my heart.
Well, later I flipped back to the channel and it was about how this team was designed by this guy who had this mathematical complex way. It was pretty awesome, but I said I can always probably buy the tape of this. I know I would like it anyhow just the way it was presented. Then On Netscapes homepage was an article how to beat the Casino. And this is how I got to thinking - through many webs.
posted by Skimmey_03 at 10:27 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home